WARNING

PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT

Attention all residents, The Department of Health urgently advises all residents that a highly dangerous contaminant has been detected in the local grain supply, including wheat, barley, and rye. This contaminant, identified as a novel strain of fungal pathogen, poses a severe risk to public health and safety. Consumption of products made from contaminated grains, such as bread, pasta, and cereals, can lead to a range of alarming symptoms, including:
- Extreme pallor and darkening of veins - Severe aggression and agitation
- Uncontrollable cravings for human flesh - Rapid cognitive decline and loss of reason
- Ultimately, complete physiological and behavioral transformation

In light of this dire situation, the Department of Health is issuing the following emergency directives, effective immediately:

1. Destroy all grain products: Residents are advised to immediately dispose of any grain-based products in their possession, including flour, bread, baked goods, and beer.

2. Avoid affected individuals: If you encounter individuals exhibiting the above symptoms, do not approach or attempt to interact with them. Instead, report their location to emergency services immediately and seek shelter in a secure location.

3. Seek medical attention: If you suspect that you or a loved one may have consumed contaminated grain products, seek medical attention at once.

Quarantine procedures will be implemented at all local hospitals and clinics to prevent further spread of the pathogen. The Department of Health is working closely with state and federal agencies to contain this threat and develop effective countermeasures. However, the cooperation and diligence of all residents will be essential in preventing the spread of this transformative pathogen. We understand that this news may cause significant concern and disruption to daily life, but we assure you that every possible step is being taken to safeguard our community. By working together and remaining vigilant, we will overcome this unprecedented challenge. Stay safe, stay informed, and look out for one another during this critical time.

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